This was the cover of a TIME magazine that came to the house the other day and it made me laugh and think “oh yeah I think I just might be . . .” after a horrific vomiting/diarrhea virus hit our entire family minus the college boy safe on campus. It was a doozy! We have never had every single person affected by a virus of this magnitude! Let me in lighten you. It all started while Grammy was visiting with child #1- The Host. Grammy was awoken at 4:00 a.m. by The Host crying in her crib and upon checking in on her realized The Host had thrown up on herself as well as her crib, dolls, blankies and assorted fluffy animals. Like the amazing Grammy she is, she cleaned The Host up, put on new pj’s and took her to bed with her where two more rounds of vomiting accured resulting in two more pajama changes as well as Grammy’s bed sheets. Two days later I was victim #2 and out of commission for two days. Day 4 came victim #3, we’ll call him The Dirty Dozen because he threw up no less than 12 times either in the toilet or trash can never missing, never crying, never complaining. Next came Daddy as victim #4 when he was checking on our little vomiting Dirty Dozen. A few hours later came victim #5 and #6. Not sure who was first because there was lots of commotion upstairs but at midnight #5 came into our room covered with vomit. Now #5 we will call The Drunk Frat Bro because he threw up all over himself, his bed, his pillow like he didn’t even make an attempt to get to the toilet or trash! So into the shower went The Drunk to take off cloths and wash off vomit. Dad went and stripped his bed and I went to help #3. Around 2:00a.m #6 stood in our doorway to announce the vile virus had also hit him from both ends. So between 8:00pm and 2:00am on day 4 and day 5 we had FOUR more victims!!!! We kept everyone home on day 5 knowing that it might be just mere hours before the other two kids would also have it and we didn’t want it happening at school and deal with transporting them home. So everyone stayed home whether they had symptoms or not. On the sixth day #7 aka Just Queasy was queasy and aching and feverish but no vomit. That day #6 earned the name The Multitasker. Let’s just say he’s glad he was in the bathroom with the toilet next to the tub because he used both of them at once! In the wee hours of the seventh day we were awoken by the final victim #8- The Hurler! I had already put a trash can beside #8 bed so why she came downstairs to vomit is beyond me. Upon going into the hall bathroom I am hit with the stench and stepped barefoot into vomit. The toilet was full as well as the seat and floor and wall! I dry heaved as I wipe off toilet seat and floor and flush the wretched puke then side step to the tub to wash my feet and hands. After decontaminating I then go upstairs to give The Hurler a thorough tutorial on “How to Vomit in a Toilet or Trash Can”! One can not merely look toward the toilet and hope it goes in, NO! one must put their head down into said recepticle for proper disposal. I made it clear there was to be no vomiting in bed, on carpet, on ones self, on walls or anything other than in toilet or trash! That day I began disinfecting the bathrooms in hopes of keeping this virus from making another round. With my hair pulled up, face mask and long utility gloves on I began to cleaning. You would think I would have been left alone as I did this dirty deed but NO I was inundated by tiny people asking me, “Mommy can you get me tea? Mommy can I get a snack? Mommy can you put on my show, like a Netflix show? Can you help me find my black bow? Mommy can you get it now?”. For the love of God what is with you people!? Sure let me get up off my hands and knees from scrubbing the floor and get out of my hazmat suit so I can browse Netflix for you. Why yes darling let me search for your non-existing black bow! Get you something to drink while 3 other people are just feet away from the kitchen, no problem! Unbelievable!!! All the bathrooms eventually got a thorough scrubbing and a can of Lysol gone over the weeks time. Some of us dropped a few pounds and some still have lingering sensitive tummies but for the most part we are all on the mends. Praying that nasty virus never makes its way back here or it just might be the end of us!